|
A Dog is for Life, Not just for Christmas!
Please. If
you're thinking about getting any animal as a gift for someone else at any time
of the year, think again. And Christmas time is not typically the best time to bring
home a new family member. Few people get a thrill from housebreaking, walking
and training little dogs in ice and snow and freezing wind. Puppies don't much
care for it either. If you are
planning to get a puppy for yourself or your family (and it must be a family
decision), please read on. What follows are some ways to prepare for your
squirming, mouthing, piddling, squealing, yapping, fragile bundle of ceaseless
energy (and joy). ·
Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places, and
walk around barefoot or wearing socks in the dark. Step in cold places over and
over, swearing profusely. Then get out the brush and cleaning fluid. Commence
scrubbing. Sometimes the stains will lift; sometimes not. Make sure you're okay
with this. ·
Wear socks that are shredded in many places, particularly
missing toes and heels. No elastic allowed. Do this many days in a row, and
make sure that, too, is okay. ·
Rip and/or run the calves of every pair of panty hose owned,
but don't realize this until you put them on, or don't have it happen until you
are walking out the door, ten minutes late for something. ·
Slightly slice fingers and hands (especially knuckles) in
many places with razorblades, and stick sides of hands and fingertips
repeatedly with sharp needles. Repeat with feet and toes, especially heels.
Make sure you can tolerate the feeling and the sore, red wounds you'll carry
with you for days. ·
Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain and dark
saying, "Be a good puppy; make good girl! Hurry up! Come on, let's
go!" Dance in place while the wind blows up your bare legs, under your
nightshirt. ·
Cover all your best suits and sweaters with dog hair. Dark
suits/sweaters must use white hair, and light suits/sweaters must use dark
hair. Also float some hair in your first cup of coffee or tea in the morning.
Try to remove it before swallowing. ·
Play "catch" with a soggy, slimy tennis ball
dumped in your lap. ·
Run out in the snow in your bare feet to close the gate. ·
Tip over a basket of clean laundry, and scatter clothing all
over the floor. Wring urine-soaked rag (from previous clean-ups) over clothes
in strategic places for full effect. ·
Leave underwear on the living room floor, especially when
you have company. Make sure to shred holes in it first. ·
Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your
favorite program, and run to the door shouting, "No, no! Do that
OUTSIDE!" Miss the end of the program. This will happen while you are
talking on the telephone, too. ·
Smear chocolate syrup all over on the carpet in the morning,
and don't try to clean it up until you return from work that evening. This
won't give you the proper odor effect, but you'll get the idea of texture and
staining sort of. ·
Pull every roll of toilet paper from its roller, and string
them all over the house like a confetti party. ·
Knock over every trash can in the house, and shred contents
all over every spare space on the floor. Do the same with every plant, making
sure the dirt is equally distributed and ground in all carpets. Especially
white ones. ·
Obtain a puppy paw print stamp, dip in mud, and place prints
over much of the floor space also on sliding glass doors along with slimy
nose prints and dried saliva dribbles. ·
Chip and gouge the legs of most tables and chairs several
times with an ice pick or something equally sharp and effective. Whatever best
resembles chew marks will do. ·
Get a recording of little yapping/whining noises. Put tape
player in a crate, and keep it going all night long. At least for a few nights.
If you can't take it, bring a few eggs to bed, and try sleeping next to them
without crushing them. ·
Set our your best or most expensive or favorite pairs of
shoes, slippers, gloves and/or purses. Offer them now as a sacrifice to the
puppy gods. Because the puppy will get them, at least one of the shoes or
gloves from each pair rendering them useless and at least the straps or the
edges of the purses. Ditto on the useful factor. Might as well have it over,
though. ·
Get out the mop and the rags and the cleaning supplies. You
will need them for quite some time. Purchase a supply of air freshener. That,
too, will be needed for awhile. ·
Hire a massage therapist for bent backs from scrubbing
stains, mopping floors, and bending down to squeeze into impossible places to
rescue and retrieve puppy from the latest hiding place where he gets stuck. ·
Get in shape for running and fast walking. These babies can
go, and they like to go (and need to go) out often. They'll leave you in the
dust if you're not up to following. ·
Spend whatever time is necessary removing all dangerous
cords from the puppy's reach. Puppies cannot resist them, and they can get
electrocuted if they bite a live wire just in the right place. If that doesn't
happen, they can get crushed pulling heavy objects down on themselves. And if
that doesn't happen, they can do some major damage to your favorite appliances.
Sometimes all of the above. ·
Enroll in obedience training with a responsible, reputable
trainer. Puppies need the reinforcement and gentle discipline. You won't regret
it when they become dogs. ·
Make sure you're home A LOT. A lonely puppy is an unhappy
puppy. A bored puppy is a destructive puppy. An ignored, neglected puppy is a
disobedient, often sick puppy. If you have to go out, try not to be gone more
than a few hours at a time, and take the puppy along whenever possible to get
her used to being in the car and to socialize her and make her part of your
world. Never leave any animal unattended in a car for long periods of time, and
never even for a few minutes on hot or cold days. A hot car can kill a dog in
minutes. ·
Be prepared for anything. You never know what a puppy is
going to do. No matter how ready you think you are, he will always be one step
ahead of you. These tips may
seem amusing in places, but some or all of what is above can often be too true.
If you're scared away, that's fine. A puppy is not for you. Take a look at a
calmer older dog instead. There is no shame in realizing that a puppy is too much
for you or your busy lifestyle. Better now than after she's made herself at
home. Too many people are not prepared, and too many puppies are dumped and die
untimely deaths because of it. If, on the other
hand, you really think you're up to the challenge of Puppy Bootcamp and can
turn it into genuine Puppy Love, then you're ready to fill out the application.
If it's a good one and you survive the vet checks and home visit you may
welcome your new family member into the fold. One final bit of advice:
Take a warm and
cuddly blanket out of the dryer, and immediately wrap it around your shoulders.
This is the feeling you will get when your puppy falls asleep on your lap, when
you hold and cuddle and nuzzle and get kisses from her. There is nothing in the
world like puppy breath and puppy love. Those who know it are truly blessed. Best of all,
these precious critters if they are loved and treated with kindness and
respect will become the most loyal and devoted companions and friends you
have ever known when they reach maturity. There is nothing
like the unconditional love of a dog. Once you hold the heart of a dog and he
holds yours you have it all. But you've got to give to receive it. Love and
be loved. Trust and be trusted, and all that goes with it. It's an enormous
undertaking, but the rewards are unparalleled. These animals
love you in spite of yourself, but they deserve the best you've got, so you
have to work at it. It's a bonafide relationship one of the most important
you will ever have. Your dog will never willingly leave you. He will always
love you, always want you, always need you no matter how you look or how you
smell. He will lie right beside you no matter how sick you are. You owe him the
same. For life. Please think about these things
before bringing any dog or puppy home, and make sure you and your family are
ready. Everyone has to want a new family member; everyone has to be excited and
enthusiastic, or it will not work. Article courtesy of first pets:
The above photo was donated by "Marie
Iwanyk" with the help of her canine companion "Little
Bone".; Both live in Rockingham Western Australia. An animal
with a good introduction to its adoptive family is much more likely to become a
long term companion rather than just another tragic statistic. Author Unknown: Tis the night before
Christmas and all through the town, We should have been neutered,
we should have been spayed, So now here we are, all
confused and alone... If you can't adopt us and
there's no room at the Inn --
Finally, what better Christmas gift
than Dogs Trust’s Sponsor-A-Dog scheme, where for just £1 per week you can
sponsor a dog at any one of our 17 Rehoming Centres. You will receive a
certificate and personal updates from your dog and the knowledge that you are
really helping Dogs Trust to make a difference in a dog’s life. There are many
pet sponsor schemes world wide, why not try and find one in your area! |
USA: USA: USA: |
